Wuv.

With Valentine’s Day just hours away, I thought I’d write a post about love.

Wuv. Twooo wuuuuuv.

Here’s my love list.

I love videos about a burnt koala in Australia being rescued by a fireman and fed three bottles of water. If you have seen me crying at the reference desk lately, it’s just me watching the video of Sam again.

I love being on a diuretic so strong that it makes me have to pee every 20 minutes for the first three hours after I take it. I love it because it keeps my day moving faster. There’s no time to snooze; there’s no time to get lazy; there’s no time for much of anything. Despite loving these special three hours, I decided to cut it in half and take half in the morning and half at night, which means I only have to pee every 30 minutes now – All. Day. Long. Now that’s a lot of love.

I love Chelsea Handler. That’s it. I just love her.

I love my new freezer. I took advantage of the freezer sale at Jewel (grocery store chain) this weekend, which involved Jewel stores causing an absolute frenzy among bargain-whores by offering a 5.2 cubic foot Igloo freezer for sale for $149, and with it comes an envelope of coupons for FREE FOOD, worth $150. So, being a bargain-whore, I bought it. I was one of the lucky few. Jewel, in their infinite generosity, sent something like 15 to each store, or something ridiculous like that, and people were rabidly trying to get their hands on them, showing up at midnight or getting up before dawn to be there when the store opened. Stupid. But now I have a freezer that will allow me to do smart things like buy massive quantities of things on sale. Uh-huh. Yeah. Jewel was the stupid one here. Not me. I have a freezer and I love it.

I love the Christian Bale/David After the Dentist video. It could be the funniest thing ever.

I love watching my brother and Boyfriend Extraordinaire jockeying for position to save my computer when it’s infected with malware. Two men who know a lot about computers, competing to figure out how to save my system, and in a weird way, they both won, but it was me who felt really special.

I love that relief I feel after four hours of trying to pick that sliver of popcorn shell out from between my molar and my gum. It should only take about three days for my gum to heal after stabbing it, scraping it, and flossing the hell out of it all night at work. When it finally came out, I thought I’d pass out from the ecstasy of liberation.

I love Christi. She and her boyfriend found a house they want to rent in a ritzy suburb about 30 minutes from here, but Christi has lived here in this town for most of her life, and as they were driving down the street checking out their potential new home, people outside waved at them and she whirled and demanded, “Wha? Did those people just flip me off?!” Mario suggested they might be waving but she refused to believe it. People don’t wave at strangers! I CANNOT WAIT for her to move in and stories the about her interactions with the neighbors start to roll in. You can take the girl out of the ghetto….

I love making displays at my library. I particularly love the 13 brave people who participated in my Name the President contest, which requires them to identify our last 10 presidents from their baby pictures. People look at the pictures; people try and figure it out; only 13 brave souls have bothered filling out the ballot. I really love those patrons. The rest can rot in hell for not even trying.

I love when three gang-bangers jump a guy out in the parking lot of the library, and he not only wins the fight, but presses charges and has the punks arrested. He really messed one of them up! I love that I got to see that. I wanted to hug him, but that would probably be in appropriate.

I love crossword puzzles. I’m addicted. I need rehab.

I love a quote I read recently that expands upon the famous one about dancing like no one is watching. The quote I discovered is, “Blog like no one is reading.” That’s awesome. I can’t do it, but that’s awesome.

I love the moron who stole our copy of the book Boobs. I love this moron because I have been able to spend the last few weeks remarking that someone stole our Boobs, now no one else can look at our Boobs, and I really miss our Boobs. It would be nice if the culprit would return our Boobs so that others might enjoy our Boobs again. Our Boobs should be played with by many.

I love that if I drink a glass of milk at night, my lactose intolerance causes a seismic reaction in my colon, chasing off my dog, and I get a peaceful night alone in my room to do crosswords without a snoring dog trying to lay on me.

I love that there is an eagle living somewhere near my house. I have seen his nest and others have spotted him, but I have not yet seen him. I love that I have Fridays off and can get in my car and go looking for the eagle. One day I will see him. Maybe tomorrow.

I love that Ann and I will be alone this Valentine’s Day, so we decided to be each other’s dates and go shopping. I might just have more fun this Valentine’s Day than I ever have before.

And I hope you all have a great Valentine’s Day doing whatever (or whomever) you love, too.