Snippits

It’s all I have time for.

Last week was my birthday and no one ruined it for the first time in many years. I don’t ask for much, just don’t make me cry on my birthday. It’s been a long time since my boyfriend, friends and family could accomplish this, and I’m thinking this was a total fluke, which I am very grateful for.

Boyfriend Extraordinaire sent me a package of stuff to grow my own cucumbers. I should probably mention that I have been making my own pickles. For eating. Get your heads out of the gutter. Or leave them there. Keep me company.

Briana and I are building a new website for our library from the ground up. A year ago I was offered this job with a raise, and I turned it down. Here I am a year later, doing it for nothing more than my usual pay. Feel free to call me an idiot.

At least I have cucumbers.

I bought a slow-cooker. It’s really great to defrost meat overnight and spend my mornings chopping vegetables so they can cook for 9 hours. Are my slow-cooked stews any better than those I make on the stovetop in a fraction of the time? Um, no, definitely not. Am I going to stop slow-cooking everything I possibly can anytime soon? Uh, no, I don’t think so.

Our new director hired two new security guards at our library and they are both totally hot. I haven’t seen this much blushing or heard this much giggling in our building since…ever. Mini-meetings are held to discuss how nice the arms of one looks or how much we support the idea of forcing them to wear tighter pants. We have to be very careful because it would be quite embarrassing for a bunch of librarians to be busted for sexually harassing the handsome, younger men on staff.

At least I have cucumbers.

Ann’s birthday is coming up and we’re going to Build-A-Bear to celebrate, which is going to be a nightmare because we will want to be quite silly and yet serious about building our bears, and surely the place will be overrun with misbehaved, irritating children. That’s the problem with being single, childless librarians: we like the kids’ stuff, but don’t like the kids so much. Alcohol will follow, and that’s going to have to get us through.

Tonight one of our maintenance guys found a copy of Maxim magazine in the men’s washroom. It wasn’t our copy. Someone actually bought this copy, brought it into the library’s washroom, and left it behind. Hopefully he finished his business with the magazine or else he went home tonight and was gravely disappointed to find that he had only his imagination to get him through. So sad.

At least I have cucumbers.