Thursday, January 15, 2009

I Care, But Not That Much

I was watching TV while eating dinner tonight and a commercial for a cell phone company came on. You probably know the commercial. It begins with a series of average people asking curious questions, and then the advertisement for the Internet searching capacity of Name Brand cell company becomes apparent. One of the curious questions asked was by a pair of twins wanting to know if they had the same fingerprints.

Bro: I want to know that, too.

Me: Yeah, me too! I keep forgetting to look it up.

Bro: So do I!

Me: NOOOOO, I spend my days looking up stupid things I don’t care about. Like today, a guy asked me when the first performance of the Chicago Symphony took place at Ravinia. Pshaw! I don’t care about that shit. But I still had to look it up. Why don’t people ask me questions I care about?

Bro: Yeah, quit making it all about you!

Me: That’s right! Don’t ask me stuff that you care about. It’s all about me here. From now on I have to care in order to look stuff up for people.

Can you imagine? All I’d ever agree to research is animal stuff.

You need to know how to choose the right wine with your meal? Pffft, I soooo don’t care about that. Ask another librarian.

You want to print directions to you doctor’s office? Nah, not interesting. You’re on your own, bub.

You want to see that video of the otters holding hands? OHMYGOD, don’t you love that video?! I have it bookmarked! Here, come sit on my lap and we’ll watch together!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

HV,
Being the librarian that I am, it appears that twins do not have the same fingerprints.

http://multiples.about.com/cs/funfacts/a/twinfingerprint.htm

May I request pics of DE and Cloudy together?

Leelu said...

You'd invite a patron to sit on your lap?

Brave girl. Foolish, but brave. :D

Lummox said...

Can you look up some good books or sites depicting man on man action?

I mean, football... Yeah, football. That's it.

BeckEye said...

After seeing the movie, Twins, I pretty much figured out that twins don't have the same fingerprints. Everything I need to know about anything I learned from that movie.

Kate P said...

Or you could pretend to hear them wrong, like in "Party Girl":

Patron: Origin of Species.
Mary: Oranges and peaches?

Happy Villain said...

Anon:
Thanks! I'll pass the info on to my bro. The animals together is still tense, but pictures will be forthcoming, no doubt.

Leelu:
I didn't say what patron that was. Maybe I was imagining Hugh Jackman asking about the otter video.

Lummox:
Well, yes, I'm quite adept at looking up football. Shall I show everyone the football photo you sent me?

BeckEye:
Wow. Everything? No wonder I'm still so dumb -- haven't seen it.

Kate:
Oh, I hear them wrong all the time. I searched high and low the other day for dryer repair books, only to find out the guy wanted trailer repair books. Hard to haul your snowmobile around in a clothes dryer, working or not. There was once a guy looking for "wading" magazines, which, again, was difficult to locate, and he never corrected me when I said I found things on fishing and swimming. Turns out he wanted WEDDING magazines. B.E. says I need my hearing checked. I think people need to spit out the marbles before they talk to me, him included.

Leelu said...

Yes, I could stand a lapful of Hugh Jackman for otter videos. Even this Hugh Jackman. He's just that good.

Happy Villain said...

Leelu:
OMG, the gayer he seems, the more I like the guy! What happened to my love of burly, manly men?!!

Leelu said...

You still love them. You just love them snuggled up to each other, and that's pretty darn gay. :D

Mmm...snuggly mens.