Monday, February 2, 2009

Does My Bass Look Big In This Light?

If I was a bass, this is the bass I would be.


No matter what others may say, I am not this bass.


I have medical backing on that.


At the moment, I have a breathing problem, and there are two theories about what can be causing it. One would require a test (I can’t afford), with an undignified treatment (medical equipment) that wouldn’t be covered by my insurance (which I can’t afford). It is the better of the two theories because it’s a non-invasive problem that’s easily corrected. The other theory would require an invasive test (I can’t afford), followed by surgery (I can’t afford) to remove parts and slough away at extra tissue blocking my airway. Either way, we may never know the real cause of this problem because I can’t even afford the tests. C’est la vie. I’m not heartbroken. I just have to figure out a way to deal with these breathing problems.

But to try to support her theory of “redundant tissue” in my throat, my doctor today did a thorough exam of my throat and then said something startling to me.

“You have a very small mouth, you know. And your throat is extremely narrow.”

I have a small mouth?

YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE?!


My doctor says I have a small mouth!


It’s really small!

And she thinks maybe I need surgery!

To make it bigger!

HAH!



And that just goes to show that you can’t judge a person by her blog.

4 comments:

Diana said...

Giggle. I'm the same way - my mouth is so small that I only have 22 teeth (had to have the rest pulled for no room) and air passage in my throat is only 1/3 the size it is supposed to be, which I found out in an x-ray a year or so ago. I love to be the small mouthed/big mouthed broad!

Rachel said...

lol wow!
Everyone's always teasing me about how small my mouth is, but even then I can still fit my whole hand into it! :P

Jen said...

I have a small mouth too, and i guess I had "redundant tissue" - rather a shatsky's ring. They pushed a tube thing (bougie) down my throat back in November to stretch it out. A little sore but no choking on food anymore!

Happy Villain said...

Diana:
If I could embroider, I'd embroider on a pillow: I love to be a small mouthed/big mouthed broad. I <3 you, Diana!

Rachel:
THAT sounds like you could be making a lot of money doing xtube videos! Your whole hand? That...that...that is a true gift. You must be really popular at parties.

Jen:
Um, it can be stretched without springing back? Thanks, my vagina collapsed in fear. Glad you're feeling better, though.