Friday, February 6, 2009

Peanut Butter Cookie Time

For the last two weeks, my brother has tried in vain to make peanut butter cookies. He tried my recipe, which is a recipe that resulted in a friend eating 40 cookies in one sitting without getting sick of them and the other 40 the following day. Yeah, they were good. Unfortunately, when my brother made them, he used evaporated milk instead of sweetened, condensed milk, and it resulted in a product that was more biscuit than cookie, with barely a hint of peanut butter taste. To the trash they went! He then dug up a cookie recipe online that called for both baking powder and baking soda, and either by operator error or chemical misconfiguration, the cookies were good during the first three chomps in your mouth, but then the baking powder/baking soda taste hit your tongue and it was like eating medicine. To the trash they went as well! And thus, a deep longing for decent baked peanut butter cookies was born.

Tonight I went grocery shopping and decided to splurge and buy him a package of mixed cookie dough you just pop in the oven and bake: peanut butter cookies with peanut butter chips. If he survived his heart exploding with glee, he might just get to eat one.

When I got home, he helped me put away the groceries and I showed him the cookies, which made him smile and he thanked me. I expected a slightly more enthusiastic reaction given his obsession, but perhaps he misunderstood that they were peanut butter.

Within ten minutes he was back downstairs, wearing that same grin again.

Bro: I think I’m going to make the cookies. I can’t wait any longer.

Me: I’m surprised you held out this long.

Bro: Maybe I’ll just hold them for a little while. Cuddle.

Me: Before or after you cook them?

Bro: Both.

Me: After you eat them, you’ll have to prevent yourself from going to the bathroom, to keep them inside you.

Bro: I’ll tape my butt cheeks shut.

Up until then, he didn’t know they were peanut butter cookies with peanut butter chips, but when he saw this, he started jumping up and down like a kid, repeating over and over, “Peanut butter chiiiiiiiiiiiiiips!” Should I mention he is going to be 31 years old next month?

He yelled at the oven for a little while, waiting for it to preheat. Clearly he was having a peanut butter meltdown.

Bro: I don’t even want to cook them. I just want to eat them now.

Me: Well, the batter is pretty good. Go ahead and eat one raw.

Bro: No, I want them baked, but I want them baked NOW.

Me: Oh, well…hmm.

Bro: "SEVENTEEN TO NINETEEN MINUTES?!"

Me: You’re going to have to find something to do for seventeen to nineteen minutes so you’re not pacing in front of the oven, yelling at it to bake faster.

Bro: It redefines time. There’s time, like normal time, and then there’s peanut butter cookie time, which is way slower!

Me: People will start referring to peanut butter cookie time now. "I was in this accident and it was like everything was happening in peanut butter cookie time!"

When the cookies were finally done, I gave him the cookie rack so that they’d cool quicker. I had to help. He was just staring at them in the pans. I have seen that look before. Every single time I eat near the dog. He was staring at his cookies like the dog does for any food, and he was probably drooling, too.

After about three minutes he declared them cool, put a handful on a plate for himself, and then found a small container for the remaining few.

Me: Oh, who are we kidding? You don’t need a container. Just put them all on your plate and take them to your room. I bet they’re all gone before they’re even cold.

He laughed, but he did leave a few in the container. I doubt they’ll be there in the morning.

They do look good, though.
(Click to embiggen them, if you dare!)

That’s right. Now you want some. Now you know how he felt.

Think about how long it will be before you can get out and get the peanut butter cookie dough and cook them for yourself.

Now think about that in peanut butter cookie time.

Good luck with that.

13 comments:

Bobby said...

I am so conflicted. I read the peanut butter cookie post, got all hungry, and then, before making some cookies, read the plumber butt post previous to this one, and now feel nauseous. You may have ruined the cookies for me.

Sigh. Life is so confusing.

Travelin' Tracy said...

So to celebrate my getting a job, my husband and I went out to dinner. We split the meal to save money and were tempted to buy a dessert. However, I have been wanting to make cookies...so last night I whipped up chocolate chip, oatmeal, pecan cookies...I think my husband ate about 13 cookies last night. I had to hide some because I knew he would eat them all. They were good. I like peanut butter cookies too, but since I have had my cookie fix for now, those will just have to wait for another day!

Leelu said...

You know, I now have peanut butter jelly time stuck in my head.

:P

Persian Pen Name said...

So, any chance we could get the recipe? because I am totally jonesing for cookies now.

Rachel said...

Curse you, Desire!!! Curse you, Stomach!
:(
Since I have been craving the sweetness of cookies, or cupcakes, or candy bars... anything! and have not had any money or ability to satisfy this craving...
which has now doubled after seeing those delicious morsels of awesome...
*sigh* ^.^ at least someone got some cookie goodness! :D

Kate P said...

Our computers need Smell-o-Vision. They look good. (Also? You are a very nice sister!)

Debbie said...

"Embiggen?" That's an awesome new word! I'll have to teach it to my computer's spell check.

Lummox said...

Is it bad that when I see cookies I say to them, "I want you inside me," or is it just me?

Happy Villain said...

Bobby:
M'love, I'm so sorry. You've been gone so long and I welcome you back with this? Humble apologies. I'll try to make it up to you.

Tracy:
AHH, I LOVE chocolate chip oatmeal cookies! And I don't even like chocolate, but they're fabulous! I totally understand your hubby's love for them. Thanks for making me have cookie envy now.

Leelu:
Oh, yeah, well, thanks for introducing me to that gem.
:P back atcha!

Persian Pen Name:
As you wish. Recipe will follow in a separate comment. I believe I followed the recipe. I might have put in a smidge more peanut butter if I know me.

Rachel:
I'd share if you were closer, I swear!

Kate:
NO SMELL-O-VISION! Just think of all nasty things people send you in email, or the websites you end up visiting accidentally, or when you have four browser tabs open at once. Bluck.

Debbie:
I can't claim to have invented that one, but feel free to steal it as I have.

Lummox:
I say that often, and not always to cookies, so I think it's not bad. Or it makes me badder. Whatever.

Happy Villain said...

The cookies pictured are Toll House Peanut Butter Lovers cookies, available at your local grocery store. The ones I made that my friend loved so much were from a simple recipe I found on cooks.com. It follows:

EASY PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened, condensed milk
3/4 c. peanut butter
2 c. biscuit baking mix
1 tsp. vanilla
Granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 375ยบ. In large mixer bowl, beat milk and peanut butter until smooth. Add biscuit mix and vanilla; mix well. Shape into 1-inch balls. Roll in sugar. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten with fork. Bake 6 to 8 minutes or until lightly browned (do not over bake). Cool. Store tightly covered at room temperature or eat all in one sitting.

BeckEye said...

I thought we weren't supposed to eat peanut butter now? Isn't all the peanut butter in the world tainted with salmonella? Has that ban been lifted? Why didn't anyone tell me??

Travelin' Tracy said...

Um, I am jealous that you have a craigslist class...since I can't go, can you give me some of the insight on what you teach about? Any tricks of the trade that I might need to know. I bought those bookshelves, and now I think I want a cooler one from IKEA, so now I gotta sell them. I bought a dresser today...I think that is the last purchase for a while.

Romana1 said...

Ooooh...peanut butter-chip cookies....yummy! *runs to go find cookie dough*