Likes & Dislikes

Dislike: Sudden hot days in the middle of the coldest summer in my memory. It felt like we were going to die of heat today, and it was only in the 80s.

Like: Painting Chef, who has ordered so many of my earrings from my Etsy store that her ears are officially my billboards.

Dislike: Arms, one of our security guys. He’s pouting and not speaking to anyone in my department, perhaps the entire library, because we each, individually, complained about how frequently we’re drilled, and the poor timing. Surely he thinks we’re a bunch of whiney bitches, but to sulk like a spoiled kid who got too much power too soon, and then didn’t have the maturity to handle the criticism that went along with it, well, it’s symptomatic of hiring a 25-year-old for a position of authority. Our bad.

Like: Terra Kettles, Sea Salt & Pepper potato chips. OMG, they are so good, and why haven’t we been putting pepper on chips all these years? We put pepper on potatoes! How stupid can we be? Runner up is the Terra Potpourri chips, with chips made from a wide variety of potatoes including sweet potatoes, taro potatoes and blue potatoes, all of which are delish.

Dislike: My orange and yellow plaid sandals. I was wearing them on Friday when I went to my doctor, due to the fact that I was wearing yellow shorts and my yellow and orange plaid shirt that matches the sandals. In my absence at home, our entire lower level was packed up and stowed in the garage so they could tear up the floor and put a dehumidifier and multiple industrial strength fans all over, and now all the rest of my shoes are somewhere unreachable in the back of the garage. I’m officially sick of my orange and yellow plaid sandals.

Like: Having normal blood pressure again. 120/70 sounds like music to my ears. FUCK YOU, PREDNISONE! I have recovered!

Dislike: The shame I feel because I have developed an enormous crush on one of the sons of Dog the Bounty Hunter. What the hell is wrong with me?! It’s just that he has that huge chest and big arms, the killer combo of dark hair and light eyes, and some distant part of my gene pool must be calling out to any man named Duane Lee. Someone put me out of my misery and get that damn show cancelled. I’m so embarrassed to watch it every week, giggling like a schoolgirl whenever he’s on.

Like: That July is finally almost over. August better not go by this slowly.

Dislike: Weeding at the library. Some of our most beautiful, interesting books haven’t circulated in 10 years, and I refuse to discard them just because our patrons have bad taste. I order plenty of books with Thug and Bitch in the title for them; the least they can do for me is occasionally check out my favorite DK book, Animal Life, or my DK book Ocean. Or my favorite sex positions book by DK, Carma Sutra. Okay, we don’t have that one, but if just one person requested it, I’d totally buy it.

Like: DK books. I wish everything was done by DK. I wish DK did fiction books and put their pretty pictures and their fun layouts into the long narratives I have to drag my eyes over to get to the end of some lame, formulaic, mystery novel. Save me, DK!

Dislike: My new neighbor’s kids. I caught the three year old, looking all cute with her hair in braids and in a pretty pink dress, standing in front of the bushes below my open front room window, antagonizing my dog and flipping him the bird, calling him a sonofabitch. Classy. It’s going to be fun watching kids like this grow up next to me.

Like: That River leaves gigantic turds in the front and back lawn, and the brats next door step in stinky piles of shit when they come by my house. Biological land mines: I has them.