Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mars Or Bust

Bro: Do you have to work today?

Me: Yeah, I’m delaying going in, hoping they’ll close for the weather.

Bro: Do they close for the weather often? We only have a few inches so far.

Me: Damn, is that all? No, we dont close often, but more than we used to. Back with our OLD director, it was like the building needed to be more than 75% aflame to close. Any less was not enough. And for snow, what she’d do is send home everyone who lived more than 20 minutes away, so all the people like me who live close had to work all day and drive home at closing when the weather was its worst, risking our lives because we LIVED CLOSE.

Bro (laughing): That makes…no sense.

Me: I know. I was pretty vocal about how unfair that was. People who live far, their lives were worth more, apparently. I thought about telling her I moved to Nebraska just so I’d get to leave with the people who commute 20 minutes. Nebraska is far! I should get to leave first! In fact, I shouldn’t have to even come in. EVER!

Bro: I live on Mars now. In fact, in order to get to work today, I had to leave three months ago.

Me: Hahahahaha!

Bro: You think the weather is bad? Try re-entering Earth’s atmosphere!

And thus, I am off to work, which hopefully will close immediately after I arrive so that I can come home and shovel the driveway I stomped through and drove over, which will probably require strength I don’t have to chisel through the packed stuff and clear a place to park. Gee, suddenly working during a snowstorm sounds like a better option.

We don’t get this kind of bullshit on Mars. I should look for a more local job. But then, during those vicious red dust storms, I’d still have to work because I would be the local schmoe. Oh wait, no, I wouldn’t work for her again so it’s safe.


Megan said...

So...did you have to work today?

I am in the middle of a terrible snowstorm, too, and Chicago is just getting POUNDED with the stuff (that's what she said!). I have found that most of the people I know who desperately want a snow day are teachers. Who just got back from a two-week vacation. I can't tell you how much I hate that.

heavenlyevil said...

"Back with our OLD director..."

I read that as 'Back with our OLD dictator' and then laughed out loud at the slip.

Happy Villain said...

Yes, we did have to work. Idiot plows were pretty good about keeping the roads drivable, and that blew it for us. Damn.

Well, I didn't write it, but perhaps there was something subliminal in my choice of words...NAH, I wouldn't say that!