Friday, August 8, 2008

Take Cover!

Let the ‘roid rage begin! Again!

The day after I called an ambulance to the house because my mom was dying of an overdose, I woke up with some big, red spots on my legs. I figured they were bug bites, even though they didn’t itch. That was the end of June. They never went away, but grew in size and became more and more painful.

Something else terribly personal and tragic happened in the beginning of July, and as it was happening, as I was sitting there, awash in emotions I couldn’t even begin to deal with, I noticed more red spots erupting on the tops of my feet. I remember thinking, “Fucking spiders,.” even though I never saw one. However, these bumps never itched either, but became quite painful the next day, and they also have not gone away.

I remember sitting at work and researching spider bites between helping patrons, and for some reason, I was still convinced it could be a brown recluse trying to kill me with multiple bites. I was in denial.

In the end of July, another insane crisis blindsided me, and the following day, I woke up with more red bumps on the soles of my feet, right in the arches, and my feet and ankles became so swollen that I had to forego socks and most of my shoes. I’m down to having only three pairs of shoes I can stretch over my feet. That was when I realized this was no spiteful, venomous spider.

The sarcoidosis has flared up something awful, giving me hideous erythema nodosum all over my legs, and it’s starting on my arms now. Today, I found myself in my doctor’s office, crying my eyes out and begging for help because I can’t sleep from the pain, and I can hardly bend my feet at the ankles anymore. Help, for me, comes in the form of 40 mg of prednisone daily, which means I’m about to embark on some fun times of mood swings, food binges, and insomnia, the likes of which could lead to me disowning my friends and family (which I have done before), redecorating my room at 3 a.m., or spending all my spare change on chocolate bars, only to eat them all in one gluttonous sitting. We shall see how this episode unfolds.

Meet my left foot.

You know it’s serious when your favorite doctor, who has been treating you for 12 years and is the only one you trust to help you in this time of need, brings in his partners to gawk at girl with this rare and severe case of E. nodosum. And what did they all say?

“Oh, I’m so sorry for your condition. Is your hair BLUE? WOW!”

So, even though I have what looks like elephantiasis of the lower legs, my blue hair is still what people see. I guess that’s good. Let’s just hope that’s not how I’m identified in security footage at a local convenience store after throwing a steroid-induced tantrum over a lack of Nestle Crunches one night.


Cat. said...

Very gentle hugs.

I always know something (not good) is going on when your posts become sparse, so I've been thinking of you lately.

Hang in there.

Manda said...

I hope things go better for you than they have in the past.

If you do get caught on security cameras, let's hope they are black and white so the cops won't notice the blue hair!

BeckEye said...

Yikes...I hope things get better soon.

Hopefully these tidbits will cheer you up:

1. Marge Simpson is considered a "babe" by many, and she has blue hair.

2. Your toenails look great!


Anonymous said...

I agree with the toenail comment, and am sorry that this has happened to you.

Romana1 said...

*more gentle hugs* I hope you feel better soon, my friend.

I agree with the others-your toenails look great!

Keeping you in my thoughts. *hugs*

Gardenbuzzy said...

Even more gentle hugs from me. I hope the meds will help you. And yes, your toenails do look great!

Kate P said...

Ugh, prednisone. Hang in there and ITA your pedicure is fantastic.

Happy Villain said...

Thanks, everyone. Wow, if I'd known everyone would focus on my toenails, I'd have done a better job painting them. It's hard to do when you can't bend your feet at all, and I thought they looked sloppy. :) Blue hair and toe nails will have to keep me going! Thanks again.

Rachel said...

Your toenails don't look sloppy! I really like the red. I bet it goes well with your hair! Feel better soon!

Magnoire La CHouette said...

Love the red toenails!
***CUDDLES*** on everything else!!!