Thursday, April 30, 2009

You Want Me To Look For WHAT?

Patron: I’m looking for a book called Genieveve.

Me: Okay, do you know the name of the author?

Patron: Yeah, Eric Jerome…um…

Yes, Dickey. I know. But his hesitation made me pause.

Patron: Uh…Di—mmm, um…

He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say Dickey, which made me start to snicker. There is someone out here who is more of a Beavis than me. Which meant I should celebrate. And to celebrate, I chose to make him say it.

Me: Eric Jerome what?

Patron: Uh…

Go ahead! Spit it out! Come on! It isn’t that hard!


Me: Ahhhhhh, okay, yes we have it. Would you like me to set it aside for you?

Patron: Yes, please.

Me: Okay, hold on just a moment and I’ll go get it.

I put the call on hold and burst into laughter. My coworker was dying to know what was so funny, so I told her my caller was too shy to say the name of the author. She looked at my screen and started to giggle as well.

When I returned to the desk with the book, she upped the ante.

Coworker: I found your Dickey. It was in LARGE type.

We both collapsed in giggles.

Me: Would you like me to hold your Dickey? Where would you like me to put your Dickey?

We were laughing so hard, she was crying and I was coughing until I couldn’t breathe. It took a while to compose myself so I could pick up the phone again. I took his information and then brought the book to the circ desk.

Me: This guy is going to be here shortly for this book. When he comes, just for fun, would you ask him to verify that it’s the right book and ask him the author’s name?

Clerk: Why?

So I told them the story about the guy who couldn’t talk about his Dickey, and how I had coax out his Dickey. Two of the three of them found it very unfunny. The one clerk who laughed and wanted to play along was the new girl, who was the LAST one I thought would play with a Dickey joke. She looks like she’s about 8 years old, but she drives her own car, so I figure looks are greatly deceiving with her. Anyway, she said she’d try to make him squirm.

Later tonight she stopped me.

Clerk: That patron came in to get his Dickey book. He was pretty young and he looked very uncomfortable. I thought about asking him for the author’s name, but he was already squirming so much, I thought he might just bolt.

Me: Aw, well, that’s okay. We had our fun. And to know he was still squirming when he came in gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

We both laughed.

It’s gotta be very hard when an entire library is laughing at your Dickey problems. Very hard.


Anonymous said...

In my very first job in an engineering library (all adults, very technical material), a patron asked me for some information on eunuchs. I said, "Oh we don't have anything like that HERE."

That's when I found out about Unix.

Still makes me cringe. And laugh at myself.

Kate P said...

You had me ROFL at "more of a Beavis than me." Hilarious.

Stuff like that is why I'm so relieved we're not allowed to say the names/authors of materials when we leave voicemail messages to tell patrons (and customers at the bookstore) that their requests came in. There's just too much funny stuff out there.