Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Manly Fail

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner! And by that, I mean a loser.

A patron in his early 30s, wearing flannel pajama pants with the have-a-nice-day smiley face all over them, a stained T-shirt, and sandals, has grabbed the award for the single worst ringtone I've ever heard. The previous winner was a regular patron whose phone played "Centerfold" by the J. Giles band. C'mon, man. Do you really want that to blast when you receive that one phone call per day when your mom checks up on you?

Today's patron, our new champion, stood before me and from his pajama pants pocket blared a voice that said, "Hey! You! You fucking moron, pick up your phone!" Then it repeated. He nervously fumbled trying to get it out of his jammies to make it stop, then answered the phone while in the middle of giving me instructions on where to send his fax. So I waited. While he talked to his girlfriend and she screamed at him about how stupid he was -- I know because I could hear it -- for taking so long to get his errands done.

He'd say, "Saaaaahhhh-reeee," into the phone sarcastically and roll his eyes, and then she'd yell at him some more. This would be followed by another half-hearted apology and eye roll, followed by more shouting. At some point she ran out of chastising and said she had to go, so what did the pajama-clad guy say?

"Okay, baby. I love you. Bye."

Please, Flying Spaghetti Monster, don't ever let me behave that way with a significant other, and more importantly, don't ever hook me up with a guy who would be treated that way.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

That's why we ban cell phone use in the library, not that it prevents them from bringing them in and having them ring really loud.
Like this one woman today who complained about all the noise in the library (two kids got excited over a computer game and weren't that loud, she just happened to sit at a table immediately next to them). Funny thing is, her cell phone is really loud! And she didn't even take it outside to take the call >.<