Welcome Back Kotter

I’ve been on vacation for a while, and it was difficult to transition back into the workforce this week, but I somehow survived remembering how to do my job, having to present the library board with our shiny new website, and the end of science fair season. I still have 6 weeks of vacation left (nope, not a typo -- I rolled some over and get 5 big, fat weeks a year now, and I’m the fourth most senior person on staff…I feel old) and with those 6 weeks I have no clue what to do. In early October I’m taking two weeks, I’ll probably take a week or two over the summer and then roll two more weeks into next year so I’ll have 7 again next year! YEAH! But until the next vacation, I have to re-acclimate myself to working. Ick.

Our director and Christi were enthusiastic in welcoming me back, saying they forgot I was gone and went looking for me for some friendly relief from the daily grind, not to find me around, which saddened them. I wish I could say I missed them that much, but my nose would grow so long that birds would begin to perch upon it. Honestly, I didn’t think about work or even the entire state of Illinois all that much. It was great.

Back at work tonight, Arms approached us and asked what we thought of his new shoes, which are the first pair he’s purchased in four years.

My impression was that they were plain and comfortable men’s working shoes: dark brown boat shoes made of soft rather than hard leather. Meh.

Me: Snazzy. You know what you look like now?

Arms: What?

Me: A total librarian. Those are librarian shoes.

Arms: I know! Aren’t they cool? They’re so comfortable!

Me: If you buy a men’s cardigan, I will laugh-laugh-laugh at you.

Arms: No, I only wear polos. Even when it’s cold.

Me: Oh, a polo and a cardigan?

Arms: No, no cardigan. I just put a tee-shirt underneath, but always polos.

Me: And a sweater vest.

Arms: NOOOOOOOO, never!

Me: You say that now, but you’ll be knitting your own soon. Big library nerd.

I’ll say this: he has a good sense of humor to put up with me. He even laughed.

Arms: Seriously, they look weird, though, don’t they?

Me: Um, what do you mean?

Arms: My feet look so small. Like tiny little elf feet.

Me: I was thinking that myself, but I figured you just had small feet.

Arms: These shoes make me look like an elf! I don’t think I’ll be wearing them anymore. My feet aren’t that small!

Me: You know, Arms, it’s not the size of the shoe that matters.

Red. That boy turned bright red. And all of a sudden he had to be somewhere else. He walked away laughing, red as a baboon’s ass and made a motion with his hand.

No, not that motion!

He made an L with his thumb and index finger.

NO, not calling me a loser.

He was indicating the distance between.

Arms: That’s what matters, right? That size?

I just laughed. I thought, only if that’s supposed to represent the length of your tongue, then that matters. I didn’t say it. That’s the kind of really dirty thing I can only say to the director. And Leelu.

Later, having not been teased enough by me, Arms made his way back and boasted about all the Spanish he was speaking, despite being out of practice. I suggested he join our language club, and he asked what it was, so I started explaining.

Arms: THAT is totally library geek right there. Tsk, tsk. Nothing geekier.

He walked away, looking at me sideways and shaking his head. Thankfully, we were closing and there were only two patrons left at opposite sides of the building, so I shouted to him my retort.

Me: OH, IS THAT SO, SMALL-FOOT?!

I’m back.

The game is on.